I went on a first date last night. I have been avoiding first dates.
The last couple months I’ve been dating a really nice guy I like (but he-who-shall-not-be-named said he’d kill me and/or sue me if I write about him, which is really unfun for my dating blog. So, blog has been sparse. We joked about starting a blog together, “Let’s call it www.nobodygetshurt.com,” he suggested. But, that domain name is already take by some group that wants teenagers to make better life choices. Since the boy has been having secret weekend plans with unnamed friends lately, and since we haven’t made any promises — my friends have encouraged me to date other people. “He’s enjoying his dating life,” a friend said at brunch. “So should you.”)
I met the new guy on Thursday, at a friend’s birthday party. He went to Duke too. (Graduated the same year as my brother.)
When I met him, he told me that he never dated Jewish girls. He hates them. They always think they’re right, even if they’re wrong. He went out with a Jewish girl three weeks ago for the first time in like nine years and was like, “Ah, yes. Now I remember why I don’t date Jewish girls.”
Five minutes later he said, “You know I’m going to ask you out, right?”
He called the next day. And the next. And the day after that.
He came out to my neighborhood and we went to dinner. The waiter was describing the flash-fried unpasturized goat cheese salad and talking about how pregnant women can eat it. Not that you’re pregnant, the waiter said to me.
It’s only our first date, my date said.
Really? The waiter asked. Are you serious? Because I thought you guys were married.
My date said he was engaged once — but it was because the girl gave him an ultimatum and forced him. He went out and bought what sounds like a very lovely ring. I told him I don’t think she forced him to do anything. He didn’t HAVE to buy her the ring. He could have told her that he loved her, and liked dating her, but wasn’t ready to get married yet. And if she was willing to stay, that would be great, but if she didn’t want to, he understood.
(That wasn’t an option to him, he said. But I do think it’s reasonable that after three years together, she might ask about their future.)
He thought that if she got the ring, things would change. Because apparently she was really really insecure and always afraid he would leave her. He took her shopping at Victoria’s Secret. Since he got the Victoria’s Secret credit card, the catalogue came to his house. She saw the catalogue in his pile of mail and freaked out that he wanted to sleep with Victoria’s Secret models. (What guy doesn’t?)
He said repeatedly that he would never ever cheat on me. You don’t have to worry about that, he said. (Uhm, not real worried about that. It’s just a first date.)
Anyhow, after a month, she gave the ring back. He kinda wishes he had kept it a while, let it appreciate and then sold it.
Our waiter was fun. He’s a personal chef. He says he used to work for some uber wealthy A-list family in NY — and he’s only got one more year before his confidentiality agreement runs out and he can write his book. He said Ashton Kutcher wanted to hire him, but Demi Moore wouldn’t let him. (He thinks that Demi thought he would steal her man. He also thinks Demi had $450,000 worth of plastic surgery and that it’s totally messed with her head.)
You should go on a second date, our waiter said. Order some real food next time.
(We had a bunch of appetizers, seared sesame tuna, korean short ribs, mac and cheese, the goat cheese salad, and then a trio of desserts and coffee. It was tasty.)
My date seems like a nice guy. (Although one of my friends, told me the reason no one is our group has dated him is he’s really annoying. But, a lot of Jewish guys are annoying.)
After dinner, we walked around the town center. He kept trying to hold my hand. I didn’t want to. I can’t explain why.
He walked me to the parking lot. He wanted me to guess which car was his.
I’m not big on guessing games.
It’s obvious, he said. It’s sitting by itself.
There were a few giant SUV’s sitting alone. He’s a little guy. A lot of short guys have big cars.
No, he said. The mini-cooper.
He got mad when I told him it was a girl car.
He said if he wanted to be insulted, he could have hung out with his friends.
He thinks he looks really cool in his mini-cooper. (It is to scale.)
Now I understand why he said his friends have been e-mailing him classified ads for new cars.
2 responses so far ↓
patrick // June 5, 2008 at 8:29 pm |
callbacks?
tanasie // July 2, 2008 at 5:22 pm |
Yeah, he did call after that date, and asked me out for another. But one night on the phone, he was talking about he had gone to Lowe’s to buy dirt. The power was out at his house, he was debating finding flashlights and reading, or going to a bar, or going to sleep, or making more phone calls. We talked for a long time. My throat was sore. I had said everything I had to say. He clearly had. I told him I was going to go watch the rest of the Top Chef finale. He started flipping out and telling me how offensive it was that I wanted to watch TV instead of having a no-you-hang-up-first conversation where we sat on the phone saying nothing. Haven’t talked to him since.