Playing With Matches

Saturday night, a friend was lamenting that yet again, he failed to make his dream come true.

“All my friends have had threesomes,” he sad sadly.

(Well, not all his friends.)

“I’ve tried to hook it up NINE times and I’ve never seen it through. I’m the Susan Lucci of threesomes,” he declared.

A month ago, he flew to Honduras with a girl he didn’t really like, but she promised him that her best friend would do a three-way once they were there. The girl talked and talked — but in the end her best friend said she wasn’t going to do it.

“What can I do to make this happen?” he asked.

“Nothing,” she told him.

So then, my friend (who has kind of become a dirty whore since his divorce) asked a freaky girl in Seattle, to fly into DC and do him and the Honduras girl. She was supposed to come to town this weekend. But, three days ago, the Honduras girl said that she was sorry, but she just started seeing a new guy — and so she can’t.

“I’ll make it up to you,” she texted.