My friend C. just joined eHarmony.
A guy called her. They talked for ten minutes, and it was one of those conversations that are just so painfully boring, you’d rather cut your eye out with a plastic fork.
“He’s an accountant,” she said.
So, did you tell him your cell battery was dying and you had to go? I asked.
No, she said. She told him that she didn’t think they were a good match and she wished him luck in his search.
I started applauding.
I’m so proud of her. Because that is exactly the right thing to do. You should tell someone if you don’t want to go out with them (instead of just disappearing and not returning calls and hoping they go away).
The guy found it unacceptable. He was shocked and appalled that she had decided in ten minutes that she didn’t want to bother meeting him.
“I had to spend the next 20 minutes on the phone explaining why I didn’t want to go out with him,” she said.
Hideous.
And then, he started talking to her about how rape statistics are up. So, she needs to be really careful about who she decides to go out with.
That’s a little scary. The only phrase in my head was: It puts the lotion in the basket.
The guy sounds like a serial killer who was sad that lunch was walking away.
Categories: boyz · hmmm · online dating · what not to say when you meet a girl
Tagged: eHarmony, online dating
A guy on Match e-mailed me saying, “Tell you what….how about a round of 20 questions…send me some, I’ll answer, send some of my own and you get to answer both sets. Sound like a plan?”
Uhm, no. How about we don’t play 20 questions.
I’m a journalist. Asking strangers questions is what I do for a living. And I hate e-mailing strangers back and forth. I don’t want a pen pal. I want a boyfriend.
I suggested that instead, we just meet for coffee ask each other a few questions, and see if we want to see each other again.
We’ll see what he says.
Categories: boyz
Tagged: match.com, online dating, questions
Friday night, a friend of mine was at a jazz club — hanging out with her neighbor when a guy walked up and asked if he could sit at their table.
“He was tall, dark, and kinda handsome,” she told me.
He started talking to her neighbor about strip clubs (he suggested they leave and go to one). Then the conversation moved to online dating. He said he loved www.plentyoffish.com.
“All kinds of coochie is thrown at me,” he said. “I had to use the belt on one girl.”
He spanked her?
No, she asked him to tie his belt around her throat, and strangle her while he did her from behind.
!
He said it was awesome.
After he told this story, my friend gave him her phone number.
??!!!
This is a girl who has yelled at me for the many bad choices I’ve made.
I just want to be friends with him, she told me. She wants him to take her to jazz clubs, and dance clubs.
I don’t think he wants to be just friends with her. She argues that since he told her so many freaky things straight-up when he met her, then he definitely doesn’t want to date her. He just wants to be friends.
Uhm, no, it means he wants to see if he can use the belt on her.
He followed her home. Then he called later that night.
We’re just going to be friends, she told me at brunch yesterday. I’m not looking for a sexual relationship.
I hope he doesn’t date rape her.
She told me I’ve been watching too many Lifetime movies.
But, she’s been warned.
Categories: boyz · dump him
Tagged: belts, dance club, jazz club, online dating, strangers, strangers in bars, strippers, superfreak, the belt
